This Little Piggy Went to Market

This little piggy has stayed home for far too long, longing for an adventure, to go outside and get some fresh air. The nursery is a lonely place, especially nowadays, and it's good to get outside and see the sights.

So this little piggy went to market.

Getting to the market was an adventure in and of itself. The laundry room change bin came along for the ride and it couldn't contain itself and spilled some of its contents out all over the place. This little piggy was concerned, very, very concerned.

This little piggy did finally make it to market and the nearest Coinstar machine and this little piggy shook and shook itself fiercely until it was no longer full. This little piggy also had a fifty stuck in it (Thanks Mom!). This little piggy was a proud little piggy indeed. This little piggy watched as the laundry room coin bin got cashed out as well. This little piggy watched as the coin layers peeled away to what this little piggy thought was the mesozoic era. This little piggy looked at the bottom of the coin bin and realized that the coins on the bottom had left rusted impressions of themselves on the coin bin. This little piggy felt really bad about the poor, maligned coin bin.

This little piggy did not feel bad about the grand total. The change brought just over $360 dollars all told (400 hundred if CoinStar wasn't such a gouger, but whatevs) That plus the fifty and a couple of random ones found in some odd places brings the grand total to 422 dollars! This little piggy was a very happy little piggy.

This little piggy wondered how much roast beef it could have with that money, but this little piggy had none. (This little piggy has always wondered why this little piggy would eat roast beef, what with roast beef originating from cows, one of this little piggy's farmyard brethren. This little piggy thinks that's cruel. This little piggy is thinking about going vegetarian.) This little piggy went Wee! Wee! Wee! all the way home! (Well first this little piggy stopped at Jamba Juice where The Bloody Munchkin got a sinus freeze and went Ouch, Ouch, Ouch all the way home, but same difference).

This little piggy can't wait for the money to go to George Mark House  tomorrow! This little piggy thinks that'll be a great adventure (I am running to George Mark tomorrow, so if you want me to hand deliver your donation, better get on the horn and let me know, tyliagardner @ hotmail dot com). Remember, I'm not counting this as part of the grand total of contest, so if you guys still want me to do the truffle shuffle, you better get your collective butts in gear and cash in 700 bucks to George Mark House and let me know about it!

Cash in those little piggies! Feel free to make up ridiculous stories just like this one and let me know about it and e-mail me and I'll post the story. I may or may not have a prize attached to the best story! Because this little piggy is a dork for such things apparently! (And why did my brain want to insert a Deliverance "Squeal like a pig!" reference? So twisted, so bizarre!)