Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thoughts on Jan

I just received a nice note from my cousin Cyndi regarding my Aunt Jan that I find a bit of solice and happiness in. She asked me to share it with the rest of the family here on the blog. Thanks Cyndi, for your kind words and encouraging story:

Once again I must tell you how wonderful your blog is. Both Mum and Grandma are on there. For me I lost two generations in less then a year, it still seems so hard to believe. I told Mum a couple of weeks before she died that it wasn't fair. She had, had her mother until she was 68 and I wanted my mother until I was at least 68. But she just couldn't fight it. She was so beautiful till the end.

I'll let you know some of the things that have been happening.

I was really upset a couple of days after Mum died. I was alone sitting on a park bench over looking an oval and I looked up into the cloudy sky and as clear as clear was the capital letter "J" (with the line at the top), formed by the blue sky with the clouds as the outline. I kept rubbing my eyes and negating it when it disappeared and to the left of the J formed a pair of lips, this time in exactly the opposite way to the J. This time the clouds were the lips and the blue was the outline. The significance of the lips is that the only thing Mum could do in the last 24 hours was to pucker her lips for a kiss. During the day before she died she wouldn't let go of my hand, she would squeeze it if she needed anything. One time she squeezed it and I asked her if she wanted a drink, no reply, did she want something to eat, no reply. Then I asked Mum if she wanted me to get close to her, so she could say something, she squeezed my hand tightly. I came right up to her face. She puckered her lips, I kissed her and said " I love you too, Mum I always will!" We continued to do this for the rest of the day. Dad kissed her a half hour before she died because she puckered her lips for him.

The J was to tell me she was there and the lips were to tell me she loved me and that she would be there for me. From that minute on, the rest of the day was the most peaceful day of my life. Mum let me know in other ways that I was to stop trying to understand the world she now lived in that it was something I couldn't comprehend with my reality and to be at peace with it. I had always questioned life after death, but now I don't in any way. She also let me know that I no longer needed to phone her I could just talk to her when I needed her. My Mum is amazing!

The Saturday after the funeral, we decided to have a fun day with family, O'Meara's and Lovett's. We had a great day talking about the funny things Mum would do. At the end of the day we sat at a local pub, on the Mooloolah river, there was no one else there as it was storming. As the sun was setting I saw the most amazing red glow so I got out of my seat and walked towards the water and saw the most magnificent display. There were two rainbows over the water, but the only two colours that were prominent were lime green and red, Mum's favourite colours, she wore them all the time, they were the dominate colours in her wardrobe. I have never seen a rainbow with just two colours, it was quite magnificent.

Dad and Lisa and I were cleaning Mum's wardrobe out, we were about one third of the way through when Dad said to me "I wonder what your Mother doesn't want us to throw out". I said to Dad "She'll tell us don't you worry, she'll figure out a way". About five minutes later the phone rang, it was a friend of mine who is a medium, she rang to tell me that Mum had told her that it is just stuff, it should hold no sentimental value what so ever, give it away and make sure other people get to use it. Make the home your fathers, it is not mine anymore. So I went back into Dad and told him what my friend had said, it made the job so much easier. We cleaned out Mum's wardrobe, bathroom, linen cupboard and kitchen. In the kitchen there were two things we just couldn't throw away. One was Mum's Angel Food Cake Baking Tin, it held way to much significance. Dad, Lisa and I all said we wouldn't be making the cake but we knew that Jacki Postles our very close family friend (who is family, not by blood but in every other way) would take on the job of Angel Food
Cakes, so we gave the tin to her, she was very proud to be the one to take on the task. The other item we could not throw away was a glass dish that was always filled at dinner parties and at Christmas time with fudge and rum balls. I'm going to be the one that fills that.

My girl friend who is the Medium told me some other things; she said Mum had no
regrets in her life, that she loved her family more then anything and that she didn't need friends she had Dave and her children and grandchildren and her first family. Her purpose on earth was to serve as is her purpose in heaven.

Last October Mum and Dad took a 6 week trip around Canada and the United States. Before they left Mum told me she had written her funeral wishes out and they were on her computer. I said “What did you do that for”. She just smiled and said it was good to be organized. This is what she wrote September 9th 2005.

"If the people organizing my funeral have a different idea that’s okay too. I want it to be a celebration of my life. First of all with the family I was born into that loved, cared for me, and taught me the principles of being a follower of our Lord Jesus Christ and a good citizen of this marvelous world. The friends and parish priests I had as a child, teenager and young woman.

When I was 20 I met the love of my life, David who always supported me, took care of my physical and emotional needs and took me to a greater understanding of my
faith journey.

Next was Motherhood – the front line of humanity. David and I were so privileged to have 3 children – Lisa, Cyndi and Marcus – who gave us a tremendous amount of love and a few challenges, just enough to teach us the lessons we needed to know to continue our faith journey. I am so proud of my children. They are all responsible,
achievers, givers, careers and have made a positive difference to the world we live in.

We have a wonderful son-in-law, Howard and daughter-in-law, Susannah who have enhanced our family’s lives.

We have 5 delightful grandchildren – Trent, who we only saw for a few brief weeks,
Brogan, Casie, Tarnea and Fran. They are vibrant, fun to be with and each have a wonderfully unique disposition and have also made a positive difference to the world we live in.


I know Mum is doing just that.

Love Cyndi

Thanks Cyndi. We're all sending much love your way.